So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
