Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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