I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
