I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
