I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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