I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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