Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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