I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
