ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Enjoy the penises
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
