addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
3pm strippers are depressing
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
