i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
