I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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