what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
