Apparently you make a good broom.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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