based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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