there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My life is pants optional.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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