Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize