I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize