What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
