Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
