At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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