even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
