I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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