i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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