I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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