At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
