census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
