they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize