Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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