After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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