Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You are a genius and a whore.
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