Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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