you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
