I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
How external is "for external use only"?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize