im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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