i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
