no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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