Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How does one acquire holy water?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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