That's intense
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i now understand why vodka
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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