he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
