My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
