We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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