I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
