My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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