remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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