So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
