It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
