would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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