I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
