C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize