I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
