I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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