I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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