definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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