i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've blown a few things in my day
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
