You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize