you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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